I was reminded of a great saying recently: You can’t read the directions if you are stuck inside of the bottle.
Imagine for a moment, there is someone who holds themself to a very high standard. When they make simple mistakes, that could have been avoided, they doubt themselves. Aggravated by the misstep it eventually leads them to uneasiness and guilt.
Remind you of anybody?
Because that anybody could be you.
It’s in that moment when they’re at their wits end and feel absolutely dejected. Sometimes we hear it referred to as “shutting down.”
However, not to lessen the impact of what the feeling of completely shutting down is like, at some point there will be a moment when they either are going to deal with the endless feelings of self doubt and worry or they will look for a sign of relief and hope.
I came up with a simple discipline to recognize when someone may need a kind word to build their confidence.
It’s called the Three Second Rule.
It has a variety of different uses and I want to show you its practicality. For example, when you are walking towards someone and they make eye contact and you noticed just before that they seemed to be in deep thought or contemplation, you have three seconds to say something or the likelihood of you saying anything diminishes drastically.
Therefore before three seconds can be counted you should make a conscious effort to commit to an action. In this example, “hey, how is it going?” would be a simple and appropriate action in order for them to recognize that someone acknowledges them.
This simple question could be met with no response or a lackluster response which is okay. Just don’t let the fear of a negative response keep you from asking.
OR
They will open up allowing them to be frank and honest with the situation they are dealing with. I am not saying they are about to spill all of the beans to you because usually the response comes in the form of saying “I am fine. Thanks for asking.”
By showing our vulnerability and acknowledging them shows how we recognize when someone isn’t having the best day. This could provide a catalyst of positive thoughts and events leading them out of the dreaded bottle.
How many times have you thought about someone else and how they were doing and you never took the action to reach out to them? You probably just said “I need to reach out to them later” and never did. The three second rule can be used in these situations to make someone’s day.
There are also situations that might be uncomfortable to you. If you don’t commit to making the decision of action and instead dragging out the issue, the anticipation can cause you to falter to your own vices as a way of coping with indecision. This is where, if we aren’t careful, we may find ourselves looking for help.
The reason I have implemented this rule is if I lead by example then knowing the possibility of being reciprocated could comfort me at a time when I might need it most. The point is we need more caring people in this world who take action. When you can feel in your gut that the appropriate time to commit to an action is at hand you should try to make that decision in three seconds or less.
